My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
is that a dick in a sweater?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
