of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
