So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
