I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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