my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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