i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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