Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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