Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
