You can't special order awesome
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
