Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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