My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
