1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
