So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
