I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
