We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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