He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
