White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
