hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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