is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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