wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
