Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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