just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
