I have demons in me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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