Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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