i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
