I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
