I puked a lego.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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