Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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