Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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