Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i dont even know how to be here
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
