Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
