we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
