gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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