We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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