Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
