i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
