So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
