Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
