he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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