Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
