i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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