everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
