is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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