Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
smell my finger.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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