Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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