can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We got so high we made milksteak
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
