wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
