its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
