So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
