he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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