Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
