Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
