Whoa Z and x make the same sound
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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