I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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