He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
