so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
